It feels good. It feels right.
Always having a happy demeanor, I really enjoy life. I have a natural zest for living, growth and experience. Appreciating the smallest moments of beauty give me great joy. But now, I jumped to a whole new level of happiness. A quantum leap. These fiercely intense emotions have set the bar to a new level of what is acceptable. I am no longer willing to compromise myself. It feels too good being me. I know I will never go back to my former self, for she has already been put to rest.
With a renewed and augmented LOVE of life, I have rediscovered things I lost somewhere along the way, tangled up in others stuff. I take responsibility for such a loss because it is always MY choice on how to live. But with alone time for self-reflection, I am learning what I enjoy.
What makes my heart beat.
What feeds my soul and nourishes my spirit.
Sometimes, I shut off all lights except a small corner lamp that casts a golden glow in my apartment. I put on my favorite music and dance. I close my eyes and move, having a party where I am the only guest. It is some of the most fun I ever experience. I break out of my box, break free from my imposing boundaries. Walls crumble as my body morphs into creative flowing movement.
Other times, I stretch. I lay on the cool wooden floor in my favorite yoga poses. I breath into my body, I feel my muscles lengthen. I open my shoulders and neck. Toes spreading and ankles roll. Incense smells permeate the air. I am floating on bliss.
I might spend time working on my vision scrapbook. What started as a board soon transferred into a large book. I peruse through my favorite magazines, tearing out pictures, places and things that grab my attention. Anything that makes me look twice, following where my attention is drawn. I then paste all the pictures into my sacred book. It depicts the life of my dreams, of the limitless possibilities of what lies ahead. It is my story, an inspiration to help me stay on the path.
I also indulge in warm bubble baths with mineral salts and essential oils. Candle light and an enticing book makes the experience complete. I create outfits I want to wear on the weekends and enjoy looking at large, coffee table picture books. I talk on the phone to family and friends, nurturing connections and catching up. I write in my journal. I sit in silence and relish.
Three weeks in and already I am thoroughly enjoying space, the solitude of being by myself. I am becoming my own best friend, that solid reliable energy I can count on for anything. I get to figure myself out like I would a new prospective lover.
All energy is set for this intention....
To become so comfortable within my own skin that I never question or compromise myself again.
